Christian Living

Many people can struggle with this, and be troubled by it. A sermon works carefully through a passage of the Bible, and it takes time to learn to follow it. Even the apostle Peter said that in Paul's letters there "are some things hard to be understood" (2 Peter 3:16). God does not spoon-feed us. He asks us to think.

The Bible asks preachers and hearers to work at this together. Ministers are to preach "plainly" and wisely, "applying themselves to the necessities and capacities of the hearers" (Larger Catechism 159). Hearers are to come "with diligence, preparation, and prayer", to "examine what they hear by the scriptures", and to "meditate, and confer of it", that is, to think it over and talk about it (Larger Catechism 160).

When a visiting minister was asked this very question in our church, he said that appetite is the key (Q&A with Rev. R. McCurley, 2024). When we are hungry for God's Word, we listen differently. Some simple helps:

• Pray before the service: "Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law" (Psalm 119:18).
• Follow the passage in a Bible as it is read and preached.
• Hold on to the main point, even if you lose some of the details.
• Talk about the sermon afterwards with family or friends.
• Ask an elder about anything you did not understand, or use our contact form.

God's Spirit makes "especially the preaching of the word" a means of building up His people (Shorter Catechism 89). Keep coming, keep listening, and ask Him for light.

Read: Q&A with Rev R. McCurley (April 7, 2024), R. McCurley; A Christian Directory, Part 2, ch. 19: Directions for Profitable Hearing the Word Preached, Richard Baxter.

Giving is part of our thankful service to God. Scripture gives both a pattern and a spirit for it.

How much? Our Giving page says that "A Biblical approach to giving is directed in part by the principle of the tithe or tenth". The tithe is older than the law of Moses: Abraham gave a tenth to Melchizedek (Genesis 14:20), and Jacob vowed, "of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee" (Genesis 28:22). Jesus, speaking of tithing, said, "these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone" (Matthew 23:23). As our Giving page puts it, "While the New Testament does not speak particularly of the tithe, there is no reason to think that our level of giving should be lower". Paul's rule is to give "as God hath prospered him" (1 Corinthians 16:2).

In what spirit? "Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver" (2 Corinthians 9:7). Giving does not earn God's favour. It is thankful love for Christ, who "though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor" (2 Corinthians 8:9).

Toward what?

• The ministry of the Word. "Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach the gospel should live of the gospel" (1 Corinthians 9:14). The Larger Catechism counts "the ministry and maintainance thereof" among the duties of the second commandment (Larger Catechism 108).
• The poor. We are to give "according to our abilities, and the necessities of others" (Larger Catechism 141).
• The wider work of the church, such as missions and the support of students for the ministry.

Read: A Body of Practical Divinity, Thomas Watson.

More than clothing, though it includes clothing. In the Bible, modesty belongs to a pure heart and a pure life.

The Westminster Larger Catechism puts modesty under the seventh commandment. That commandment requires "watchfulness over the eyes and all the senses" and "modesty in apparel" (Larger Catechism 138). It forbids "wanton looks" and "immodest apparel" (Larger Catechism 139). So modesty touches:

• The heart. Modesty begins there. A woman can be covered from head to foot and still be immodest in how she acts (Q&A with Rev. R. McCurley, 2024). Paul writes, "let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God" (2 Corinthians 7:1).
• What we wear. Women are to "adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety" (1 Timothy 2:9). True beauty is "the hidden man of the heart", "a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price" (1 Peter 3:4).
• How we look and speak. Jesus warns against looking "on a woman to lust after her" (Matthew 5:28). Modesty guards the eyes and the tongue, not only the body.
• Men as well as women. These duties bind both alike (Larger Catechism 138).

Scripture gives principles here, not a detailed dress code, rather "Let your attire glorify God." The aim is not to draw attention to ourselves, but to honour God: "ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s" (1 Corinthians 6:20).

Read: A Body of Practical Divinity, Thomas Watson; Q&A with Rev R. McCurley (April 7, 2024), R. McCurley.

Men and women should dress as men and women. God made us "male and female" (Genesis 1:27), and His law says, "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment" (Deuteronomy 22:5). The difference between the sexes goes back to creation. On this verse Matthew Henry wrote, "The distinction of sexes by the apparel is to be kept up" (Matthew Henry, Exposition, on Deuteronomy 22:5).

How do we discern? The Bible gives no list of garments, and every culture has a different idea of what men's clothing and women's clothing is. Therefore we should be hesitant to focus on specific items. Three questions help. Does my clothing clearly show that I am a man or a woman? Does it cover me modestly (Larger Catechism 138)? Is my aim to honour God, not to draw attention or to blur what God has made? Paul's rule applies: "whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Two cautions. "God alone is lord of the conscience" (Westminster Confession 20.2), so we do not judge one another beyond Scripture. And liberty is never a cover for immodesty or for blurring the difference between the sexes. Questions? Please speak with an elder or use our contact form.

Read: Q&A with Rev R. McCurley (April 7, 2024), R. McCurley; The Bible Doctrine of the Separated Life, Johannes G. Vos.

Scripture speaks of dancing in two very different ways, and the difference lies in what the dancing is and what it stirs.

Dancing for joy. Scripture records dancing as a plain expression of gladness. After the Red Sea, "all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances" (Exodus 15:20). "David danced before the LORD with all his might" (2 Samuel 6:14). There is "a time to mourn, and a time to dance" (Ecclesiastes 3:4). Scripture does not condemn such joy. As Rev. R. McCurley said, "no one can call a sin a sin unless God calls it a sin" (Q&A with Rev. R. McCurley, 2024).

What about worship? The dancing at the Red Sea and David's dancing before the ark were special times of rejoicing in Old Testament Israel. They do not give the church an order of worship, for God's worship is "limited by his own revealed will" (Westminster Confession 21.1), and dancing is not among the parts of worship the New Testament or Confession names (21.3, 21.5). Even for a day of public thanksgiving, the Directory names singing: "singing of psalms is of all other the most proper ordinance for expressing of joy and thanksgiving", and it asks that our "mirth and rejoicing be not carnal, but spiritual" (Directory for Public Worship, Of the Observation of Days of Publick Thanksgiving).

Dancing that provokes lust. Scripture also shows dancing joined to idolatry and sensuality: the golden calf (Exodus 32:19), and the dance that cost John the Baptist his head (Mark 6:22). The Larger Catechism, listing sins against the seventh commandment, names "lascivious songs, books, pictures, dancings, stage plays; and all other provocations to, or acts of uncleanness" (Larger Catechism 139). Paul warns against "chambering and wantonness" (Romans 13:13), that is, sexual sin and indecency.

Reading the Catechism. Some read "lascivious" as describing every item in that list, so that dancing which stirs lust is meant. Others take "dancings" as named in its own right, as an entertainment that easily provokes to uncleanness. Ask honestly what a dance is meant to stir in you and in others, for "whatsoever is not of faith is sin" (Romans 14:23). If you are unsure, please speak with an elder or use our contact form.

Read: A Body of Practical Divinity, Thomas Watson; The Bible Doctrine of the Separated Life, Johannes G. Vos.

Scripture does not forbid laughter or humour. It gives them a place, and it sets limits.

A time to laugh. Scripture says there is "A time to weep, and a time to laugh" (Ecclesiastes 3:4). "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine" (Proverbs 17:22). When God brought His people home, "Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing" (Psalm 126:2). Cheerfulness is a gift of God. The Larger Catechism even counts "cheerfulness of spirit" among the duties of the sixth commandment (Larger Catechism 135).

Limits. Humour can go wrong in three ways:

• Crude or empty joking. "Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks" (Ephesians 5:4). The jesting Paul means is the coarse or careless kind, not all wit.
• Joking about holy things. The third commandment forbids turning God's Word "to profane jests" (Larger Catechism 113).
• Mocking others. The ninth commandment forbids "scoffing, reviling" (Larger Catechism 145). A cruel trick is not excused by saying, "Am not I in sport?" (Proverbs 26:19).

A simple test. "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers" (Ephesians 4:29). Good humour is kind, clean and honest. It does not make light of God or hurt our neighbour, and it fits the occasion. There is a time for laughter, and a time to be serious.

Read: A Body of Practical Divinity, Thomas Watson.

The third commandment says, "Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain" (Exodus 20:7). It requires that God's name, titles, Word and works "be holily and reverently used in thought, meditation, word, and writing" (Larger Catechism 112), and it forbids any "ignorant, vain, irreverent, profane" use of them (Larger Catechism 113).

So some expressions are plainly wrong. To use "God", "Lord" or "Jesus" as an exclamation is to use God's name lightly, and that breaks the third commandment. Words that only stand in for God's name are forbidden too, because they are used in its place. The Catechism gives this rule for the commandments: "That under one sin or duty, all of the same kind are forbidden or commanded; together with all the causes, means, occasions, and appearances thereof" (Larger Catechism 99).

What about "oh my word"? It does not name God, and no verse names the phrase. But if you say it in place of "oh my God", it stands in for God's name, and the rule above applies. Otherwise, our church holds "to Christian Liberty, not binding man's conscience (1 Cor. 10:29) to un-Biblical or extra-Biblical legalism" (Who We Are page). So think it through before God. Jesus wants plain speech from His people: "let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil" (Matthew 5:37). If an exclamation works as a mild oath, something we swear by to add force to our words, it falls under that warning. And "every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment" (Matthew 12:36).

The aim is not anxious word-watching, but reverence for God and speech that is "alway with grace" (Colossians 4:6). If a habit is hard to break, ask God for help. He forgives, and He changes our hearts and our words.

Read: A Body of Practical Divinity, Thomas Watson.

Leaving a church is a weighty step, and it should feel weighty. Scripture gives some help.

Settle it before God, not before people. It sounds simple, but your conscience must be bound to the Word of God alone, not to the pressure of family or friends, and not to tradition or old attachments (Q&A with Rev. R. McCurley, 2024). So search the Scriptures as the Bereans did, who "searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so" (Acts 17:11). Pray, read, and talk with elders you trust. Do not move until you are persuaded from the Word, for "whatsoever is not of faith is sin" (Romans 14:23). But once you are persuaded, do not let fear of people decide for you. Paul asked, "do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10).

Expect it to hurt, and watch your own heart. Family pressure and lost friendships are real, and we grieve with you. Unkind words from others are not yours to answer for; bitterness in us would be. Keep loving the people you leave, and speak well of them.

Do not drift. The goal is not to leave a church, but to belong to one. "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is" (Hebrews 10:25). Join yourself to a congregation where the Word is faithfully preached, and confess Christ openly there.

Read: Q&A with Rev R. McCurley (April 7, 2024), R. McCurley; The Nature and Necessity of a Public Profession of Religion, Charles Hodge; Discerning Providential Guidance, Samuel Pike.